Life

By Christopher Swindon

All my life all I want to do is to do well, to love my children and be happy. Instead, heartache, misery, despair, day by day struggling. With what? I don’t know. With who? I don’t know. Tearful, angry, sad etc. what’s going on? I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Harming myself, wanting to die, going through all these mixed emotions, not knowing what was going on. Looking for help but nobody wants to know, or throw you aside like you’re nothing. Not enough dealing with depression and anxiety, I then get hit with mental and financial abuse by my partner. No way out now, my life has come to an end. NHS wants nothing to do with me, I’ve got my ex doing bad things to me, no one to turn to now.

As I thought it was the end, a turning point in my life, someone came along, a support worker. That person realised I needed help, he took his time to assist me, he brought me to a place that cared and wanted to help. That group was Moving Forward.

At first I struggled, I couldn’t enter the building by myself. Scared, frightened, not knowing what to expect. Weeks and months had gone by, I was still struggling with all the illnesses. Its awful, you’re dying inside from confusion, all types of feelings in one go. But as I kept going to Moving Forward, things started to change; the support from the staff, the support I always needed, I was finally getting it. After 8 to 9 years, someone was finally helping me. My strength started to grow, I was doing things I had not done for a long time. This was the start of me fighting back; it’s the start of me facing my fears and time to fight my demons. The battle has begun.